Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Will Sex Fix the Problem?
In yet another case of the book being written based on some life experience, a couple decided to try to get their marriage on track. . . by having sex daily for 100 days! You can read about it by CLICKING HERE.
Would this work for everyone? The answer is "sorta, kinda, not, but maybe." How's that for definite responses? The truth is that the marriage in question may not have been on-track, but it was not in the gutters. It was just "so-so," which does account for a large part of the population.
In the end, this couple decided to really shake up their life -- throw a little passion into the mix. This changes the relationship. It shifted them from roommates to married couple, from parents to lovers. That is a good thing.
My concern is how we have made sex such a big issue. I always chuckle when a couple comes into my office, telling me they "just don't have time for sex." Come on. The vast majority of us spend more than 1/2 an hour watching TV, or otherwise wasting time. The average length of sex is, from what I have read, 20 minutes. That's a TV show minus the commercials!
In the end, we have made sex too big of an issue (imagining it takes too much time and too much energy), and at the same time have taken it too lightly (forgetting the glue that sex adds to a marriage, the connection it creates).
Do the authors of the book have the solution? Maybe not, but it might be a fun test!
********************
More marriage saving information can be found in my ebook, available by CLICKING HERE.
Would this work for everyone? The answer is "sorta, kinda, not, but maybe." How's that for definite responses? The truth is that the marriage in question may not have been on-track, but it was not in the gutters. It was just "so-so," which does account for a large part of the population.
In the end, this couple decided to really shake up their life -- throw a little passion into the mix. This changes the relationship. It shifted them from roommates to married couple, from parents to lovers. That is a good thing.
My concern is how we have made sex such a big issue. I always chuckle when a couple comes into my office, telling me they "just don't have time for sex." Come on. The vast majority of us spend more than 1/2 an hour watching TV, or otherwise wasting time. The average length of sex is, from what I have read, 20 minutes. That's a TV show minus the commercials!
In the end, we have made sex too big of an issue (imagining it takes too much time and too much energy), and at the same time have taken it too lightly (forgetting the glue that sex adds to a marriage, the connection it creates).
Do the authors of the book have the solution? Maybe not, but it might be a fun test!
********************
More marriage saving information can be found in my ebook, available by CLICKING HERE.
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Interesting, but I don't believe that sex is the most fundamental part of a relationship, because biologically we're meant to cohabitate with a spouse for the gestation period, and a little bit more time for the rearing of the child - after which we go our seperate ways because of something known as the chemical cocktail. But in marriages nowadays, we're more inclined to stay with our spouse even after gestation and even after their looks have gone sour because of a personal bond with them - the notion that we are societally expected to stay loyal and bonded to this spouse.
twenty minutes doesn't provide much time for anything but a quick wham bam thank you ma'am----maybe that in itself is part of the problem
# posted by 
: 5:04 PM
: 5:04 PM
From my own point of view and how I think many men feel: When we are having sex on a regular basis, 3-4 times a week for me; it relaxes our mental state. Things that may bother us or annoy us on a daily basis in the relationship, are easier to let go and roll off our shoulders. Why I don't know and yes it doesn't make much sense, but I have heard the same senerio from many of my other male friends.
My hubby and I were having some troubles....not enough time with the kids and work and the house.....then one day he surprised me with some lingerie from an online site (pamperedpassions.com) we had a amazing and fun time in bed and managed to MAKE time to talk and snuggle after. We do this anytime we seem to be having problems....its not the sex exactly, but it slows us down so we can talk!
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# posted by : 12:56 PM
: 12:56 PM << Home
